You don’t often have a surprise encounter with a huge movie star. Even less often does the encounter lead you to a big aha moment. But that’s exactly what happened for me.
Anne Hathaway didn’t say anything.
She didn’t even make eye contact.
And that taught me something profound—something we should all realize about business, and about life.
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Here’s What to Expect in This Episode
- How did a mysterious Porsche on the road in Big Sur start an incredible weekend for me?
- How did Anne Hathaway teach me that we become who we practice being?
- What is the link between self-protection and closing your heart off?
- How did meeting the actress Jane Lynch clinch my big Aha?
- Why is it important to develop a business that helps you become the person you want to be?
- What is the critical link between business success and being uncomfortable?
- How can you practice becoming who you want to be?
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Interesting talk. I’ve been looking at the same thing, that is being who I really am and accepting others as they really are.
As you pointed out we are always training our self to be the way we are and in the process training everyone else to relate to us as the kind of person we are presenting. This is a common way of behaving in our society. Ann closes herself off, a common behavior in our culture because we get critisized when we are completely open and honest in expressing ourselves openly and honestly.
Most of us who inhibit our expression would love to change this behavior but see others being rejected by the world around them and we ourselves have experienced rejection so we are afraid and avoiding others so they don’t look at us and see what is really happening in us. We try to escape from our own responses but can’t, so we hide. “No matter where you go, there you are”.
Coming out, being who we really are is the greatest challenge we can take on in our life because it means being who we really are, expressing ourselves fully and freely and living with the acceptance and the rejection of others. Jung said it takes a great deal of courage to be who you really are”.
We all want to feel free inside and want to express ourselves freely and fully but we don’t much of the time because we are afraid of what might come at us. And, of course this very view is the cause of the stance and the behavior, how we are presenting ourselves, is the source of our own experience.
Changing this is truly a challenge for most of us. Even Robin Williams, expressive as he was, was also hiding what was going on inside him and his being afraid to express what was going on in him, even with his family, created the ultimate avoiding being seen feeling what he was feeling.
We all do it to some degree because we were all reared in this society. We hide our sexuality and our feelings the most because that is what we have been trained to hide, in order to get the acceptance and approval of the people around us. We even do it with our closest relationships. We hide what we are feeling and thinking to avoid the disapproval of our loved ones. We present an act, our presentation to hide what’s really going on in us.
This is the socially fabricated reality in which we live and we have all learned to play our part, as if we are being who and how we really are. If you want the approval of others, you fit yourself in to there expectations of you or you risk rejection.
I know this one well, and you are so right in saying if I want to be who I really am, I have to be who I really am and present who I really am to the world, regardless of the response of others, because if I am being who and how I really am and expressing my self freely and fully, I will be happy in my self and the outcome will come from being who and how I really am.
So, I am focusing on being and expressing whatever is moving in me and enjoying my experience.
Thanks for sharing your insights,
Donald Theiss
From your description it sounds like Anne is an HSP. (Highly Sensitive Person) http://theinneractor.com/using-your-high-sensitivity-personality-as-an-actor/
I would imagine that you and Jane Lynch might thrive in social environments. But this does not mean that Anne is closing down her heart by attempting to maintain the private space she needs to recharge her batteries.
Highly sensitive folks simply have a different path: http://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/